Why I Write and Spring Break

I laid my head in my hands today. I don’t do that often. I guess it was due to some measure of shame, but all things considered I hadn’t done anything shameful. I walked away from the room with my head in my hands, not because I had been rejected or humiliated, but rather because I can’t articulate when I’m nervous. What rational human can? It gets frustrating, though. I feel like I can never articulate; I’m always double-talking, trying to get what I’m thinking out there. Somehow it gets jumbled in translation, nearly every time in fact. 

I wish I could submit everything in writing. With writing I can articulate, even if I am vague at times. I can write things that will make people smile, make people think, and make people see me as something other than the awkward guy in the hoodie. Writing is liberating, when I write I feel like I’m making a statement. I never realized that before. Sometimes I write stories, other times I write what I’m thinking. I used to do that, back when people would have laughed at me for doing so. Or my favorite, when a local bully said to me, “you write?  You?! I bet you’re terrible at it.” So I stopped. I never picked it up again until I got to college. 

Now, though, I write more often than ever. Perhaps it was coaxed out of me after having to write an ungodly number of essays in my first semester. With two blogs going, though, I can see it making a difference in my confidence, no matter how slight. When people come to me and tell me how much they enjoyed reading my blog, I get a certain spring in my step. 

Jordan found that last line amusing, but that's because Spring is his last name.

I don't know, I've always striven to find some way to vent some emotions. I've tried guitar, reading, sleeping, but nothing has had the same effect on me as writing has. When I press the publish button, or I click the save icon in Microsoft Word, I get this insane feeling of accomplishment. I feel like I made some sort of difference somewhere, even if no one reads it. It's more than just this blog too, sometimes I'll jot down fiction ideas that I manage to scrounge up. I play those a little close to the chest, though, I feel a bit awkward when people read things that I've created from nothing. It's not that I fear criticism, I welcome it whole-heartedly. It's just... I wonder what people think about the things I come up with. It's just insecurities and it's definitely a little immature of me, but the thing is I don't write those for other people. I write them for myself, really. They get my imagination going, allow me to escape for a little while. 

My personal favorite is about a guy who gets on a bus to escape from a yet unrevealed event. He wakes up in a desert town, and as far as I've written he's trying to orient himself in a new setting. I don't know, that one's not too embarrassing, but I feel like my science fiction story is... I like space ships, okay? Don't judge.

Spring Break 

So my spring break starts this Friday. All I have to do is get through International Relations, a class which I love, and I'm scot free for a week. My friend Levi invited me up to his place in Grand Junction, so I'll be spending my time there. I'm looking forward to it, it'll be a great way to just unwind from a stressful semester. Plus, we'll be driving through the mountains that means massive opportunities for pictures. As soon as I'm back from that, I'm gonna make a photo blog of any pictures I take. Maybe a video or two as well. We'll see.

Um, well, I titled this section Spring Break, but seeing as it hasn't happened yet there's not all too much I can write about it. So instead, I'm gonna write about the last two sporting events I went to and a little bit about ping pong.

Ping Pong 

I suck at it. That is all.

Well, that isn't all. I'm getting better, I almost got Dusty, he got me 22-20 tonight. I'm learning how to spin a little, but I still hit it over all the time. I'm still no Levi or Jordan, the two best on the floor, but at least I can still beat Sean... most times...

Sports 

So I've been to a couple of sports games since the semester started. Namely I saw a Denver Nuggets game and a Colorado Avalanche game. The Avalanche game was single-handedly one of the coolest games I've been to since the Rangers game where some guy gave us his second row tickets.

My friend Frank got us these wicked awesome seats 8 rows off the ice, and (risking a pun, since they played the Minnesota Wild) it was a wild time. Also, this is an excuse to put pictures in so this blog isn't so plain.

Just look at these seats!

Yeah, we were that close. Not to mention we had at least two fights break out right in front of us. My friend Matt and I were out of our seats screaming at the players to "Kick his ass!" I had never been to a hockey game before, and the whole thing was just plain fun. I had a wonderful time cheering for the Avalanche. Even if they lost. Christian was quite pleased, he wanted the Wild to win. 1 - 0. Yeah, both defenses were really on that night, but it was still one heck of an exciting game.

All of us by the ice. Not pictured: Hockey

I... surprisingly don't have much else to say about it. Probably because it was so long ago by now. I don't have much to say about the Nuggets game either... I also didn't take any pictures. We were literally two rows from the top, and if you ask me the players aren't as big as they say they are. Seemed pretty small from way up there. Nuggets didn't win either, they lost to the Spurs. Not going to lie, it was fun prodding at the Spurs fans in front of us... even if I am from Texas.

The Mavs are better.

Well, I guess I'm out of things to say for now, not a whole lot on my mind I guess, but it was nice to take some time and write for a little while. So for your viewing pleasure; here's a few more hockey pictures.

Okay, I have one last thing to say. I hate how annoying it is to place images where I want them. I wanted these in a simple grid, and I couldn't do that. I don't know why, but it's kind of annoying. That is all. Sorry for not putting more, but it was not aesthetically pleasing in the least. If anyone knows better ways to place pictures on this blogger interface, let me know please.

Reboot Time

Okay, so it is incredibly, incredibly obvious that I have completely forgotten about this blog for more than five months. Christian, watching me write this, tells me "Gracias, Capitan Obvioso." Normally, I'd dispute being called Captain Obvious, but I feel as though it is an apt description here. I could go on for paragraphs making excuses as to why I haven't been writing, but what would be the point? That's boring to read, and I won't subject anybody to that material.

So here's the thing, I'm just going to reboot this. I'll keep the posts I have, since they're still pertinent to my life, but I'm going to go ahead and make this an introduction of sorts. This blog post is now an intro to me, and hopefully it'll give anyone who reads this more of a perspective rather than just jumping right into whatever it was that I wrote at first. Give the why, not the what. That sounds best to me.

Life in a Nutshell

Where else to begin but at the beginning? As my simplistic "About Me" section will let you know, I was born May 31st, 1993. Beyond that, I was born in Poughkeepsie, New York to George and Colleen Drew. I could stop there, and you'd get the idea, but that's not very interesting is it? Thing is, I was a huge baby. I was pretty much stuck on my way out the door. The doctors say "C-Section" but somehow that translates to getting the Hoover out of the hall closet. Apparently, the shape of my head afterwards was hilarious though I have no memory of this time. Come to think of it, I was a pretty damn cute baby. High self-esteem in really small places.

The Big-Head in Action

My mother and I poke fun at each other that I had to be born on Memorial Day that year. In her words, "I could have been at a barbecue if it weren't for your big, late head!"

In my words, "Yeah, and you could have gone out to dinner for your anniversary too!" My parents anniversary is June 1st, the day exactly after my birth. In a weird sort of way, I find that funny.

From there, life was normal, well, as normal as things can get. We lived in Beacon, New York for about nine years. My sister Hayley was born on July 21st, '95, I got my black belt in the summer of 2001 before we moved, we got our dog Jake sometime around 1999, and then you have all of your family matters that are constantly going on. I could go on about my family, they're great people and I love them dearly, but I have more to say about myself!

 Living in New York is not the same thing as living in New York City, that much is certain. Beacon was about half pretty nice, as in our neighborhoods and several of the surrounding, and half pretty bad, as in Tompkins Terrace and several of the projects off of Main Street. In all honesty, I don't actually remember that much about everything going on in the town. I was a kid, how much was I really going to notice anyway? I remember bits and pieces about stories of robberies, machetes, and guys getting shot on the off ramp of the turnpike, but what really stuck out to me was the neighborhood itself, and the people around me.

You ever see old pictures and have no idea who anyone is?

I grew up being a neighbor to the Sablinski family. Jean and Bill were the parents, and Marie, Michelle, and Billy were the kids that Hayley and I played with practically every time we weren't in school. We were all so casual with each other, my parents to them were George and Colleen, and their parents to us were just Jean and Bill. Want to go over and see everyone? Just walk right in. Want a drink from anyone's fridge? Take it. We all got along phenomenally. Cook-outs, playing flashlight tag at night, watching Bug's Life on a hot summer day, we did it all. I love it when we go back to visit them, it always brings back the great times we had with each others families. In Jean's words, "It was like the 1930's with all you kids running around, in and out of the house like that." She was right, thinking back on it it really did seem like a peaceful time long since past, especially considering how practically no one does anything like that now.

The Texas house. Not pictured: Indoors

But in 2002 we moved down to Texas, I still have kind of mixed feelings about that. Granted, I was only nine at the time, but still I felt like I was leaving behind everything that I had ever known. One thing I always wonder though is if I actually felt that way, or if it's my now 18 year old self reflecting feelings I don't quite remember as well. To be frank, though, Texas isn't for me. I have my friends there, for sure, and my family of course, but I don't feel like I fit the landscape. It's flat, drab, and the suburbs we live in are, well, suburbs. The suburbs make me feel like I'm trapped, trapped into a constant cycle of nothing to do. Get up, go to school, find something to do, fail, sit at home. Every day. I get that adult life is mostly getting up and going to work, but I feel like suburbia enforced that idea on me when I was barely 10 years old. Maybe it isn't Texas, then, but the suburbs. I don't know for sure. I will always go back to visit though, as long as my family and friends remain.

Anyways, life moved on, I found myself relatively friendless until I met Daniel in the 6th grade. Middle school was pretty bad, but all things considered everyone's middle school experience is pretty terrible. Acne broke out in about the 8th grade, lasted until forever, depressed high school career blah blah. Honestly, I feel like my story through upper-level grade school could be cut and pasted into just about anyone's. Though, I did go through a pretty significant change. That is; long curly hair to short, manly hair.

Long curls

Short mans

Here's what's important: I had friends. They cared for me, and I cared for them. Through my lowest points I had Daniel to rely on. For the fun times I had Yun, Alan, and Leah. For everything in between I had all of them. I had my family; we had our spats, I mean, come on, I was an angsty teenager. What do you expect? But I gained new perspectives because of all of them. All of the advice, all of the guidance, it's what got me to where I am now. I never would have said this two years ago, but if I had the opportunity to go back I would not change one, single, solitary thing. Ask me that earlier I would have said "Man, I'd make this girl like me" or "I'd say this differently" but now that I know what I do now, I don't see the need.

I owe these guys the world. Not pictured: Alan. We have zero pictures together

Fast forward to now: College.

My side hasn't gotten much cleaner

I started my second semester on January 16th, I felt that our winter break was a bit too long. Though, it took me a bit longer to settle into a good schedule this semester. A lot of things have changed since last semester. Some things have been painful, some things have been easy. What's important, though, is that I'm learning. That's why I'm at Regis. That's why I'm in Colorado. To learn. To be a part of this community and allow this experience to shape whatever may come next. I'm ready for it. Everything has brought me to this point, and it's up to me to choose what happens. It's like a "Pick Your Own Ending" novel, except it only sucks sometimes.

So that's where I am, where I'm headed though and why I'm headed there is another matter entirely.

The Where and The Why

In hindsight, I should have worded the title in the reverse order. I'm starting with "The Why" and I feel like my blog would have more chronological coherence if I had done so. But you know what? Screw it. It's my blog and chronology can take a hike.

Why do I act as I do? Why do I believe what I believe in? Great questions. Odd answers. Honestly, I don't even know if I can answer all of that in full just yet. I mean, I have ideas but sometimes I feel like my outward personality doesn't always match what I think about. It's hard to explain, and I wish I could do so. To kind of attempt to put it into terms, I tend to get tangled up in my words sometimes, well, that's a half-truth, I get tangled up pretty often. I can never seem to reflect what I'm really thinking, and I feel like it changes how people perceive me. That's one reason why I want to write so much again, it allows me to really express what I'm thinking without stumbling over the words to get there.

But I digress. To put my life philosophies in short; I am an atheist,  and I am slightly to the liberal side of dead center of the political spectrum. No, I didn't say right or left because I always forget which goes where. Yeah, that looks great for a Political Economy major.

Learning Morality through popcorn. I love this picture.

Anyways, why am I an atheist? That's a question I've gotten a few times. Well, that and "Why do you go to a Catholic school if you're atheist?" It makes me happy that I get these questions though because one thing I absolutely love is learning what people believe in, and sharing my beliefs with them. To step off topic just one more time, that's one thing I love about Regis. Someone will always share their beliefs, and they will always understand. It's the polar opposite of a Bible Belt elementary school where I was made fun of and excluded at recess because I didn't go to church. Words cannot describe how much I love that. Back to the main point. I'm an atheist because I believe too much in what I see rather than just having faith that something is there. To think that all of this was created at random, to me, is a wonderful sight to behold. Beyond that, to see what people as a species have created is just astounding. That we came from the smallest of beginnings to the grandest undertakings makes me glad to be apart of this world. Even if people are stupid. There's always that question to of "Well, where do you get morality, if not from a belief in something everlasting, having the incentive to do good works" and honestly, in some cases I'd say that's a fair question. Here's the thing, I have parents who did a great job at raising me. They taught me right and wrong, how to be the best that I can be. I feel like a lucky guy for having the opportunity to have that, because I know full well that it doesn't always happen. I feel like that's enough to say about that. I really don't want to get into those beliefs too deeply.

I owe the two of them a whole lot

You can always tell how old the picture is by the hair.

I don't believe in censorship, not in the least, I feel like if you want to speak your mind you should very well do it. There is, however, a difference between censorship and flat-out offending people. Plus, I don't want this blog to be about my religious beliefs, or lack thereof. There's enough of that on the internet, I don't need to add to that at all. For that very same reason, I'm going to glaze a little bit over politics because, again, this isn't supposed to be a political blog. I just want to provide anyone who reads this with a little perspective on the blog as they read it. Hopefully, that'll help whoever does choose to read will get more out of it.

So politics; I don't believe in censorship of any kind so SOPA is strictly on my no-no list, I believe more action needs to be taken about the economy. I think preempting Iran by Israel would be a terrible, terrible idea. I will not comment on the president's policies, or any of the candidates right now except for Rick Santorum. The right to privacy is not outdated, sir. I am entitled to have privately owned things, conversations, and otherwise thank you very much. That is all I will say about that. That should just about cover the amount of politics I want to cover, I always love talking politics if you can be civil about it though. It's why I love my International Relations class so much. We can talk politics without ending up like pundits on news radio or any of those news networks I don't watch.

You know, I'm not confident these paragraphs have answered any of the original questions I brought up... maybe that is something that will come in due time... hopefully.

I guess that leads me to "The Where" but I'm afraid that may not lead anywhere quite yet. I plan to get my degree in Political Economy, but what will I do with that? I'm not sure yet. I would love to get a job with an International Corporation and work with analytics with them, but beyond that I don't have an idea. One day, I'll probably get married, get a dog, have some kids but for now I'm more than content just working through college and taking things as they come. I have all the time in the world, and I don't plan on wasting a moment of it.The road is winding in front of me, and I plan to stroll every bend.

Okay, this isn't Denver. But it was taken on a road trip. It's relevant, I promise

Oh, and I forgot to include what the title of my blog even means to me. Mountains, Highways, and the Little Things. Mountains: I live near the mountains, I love the landscape of valleys, canyons, mountains, snow. It inspires me, makes me feel at peace with the world and a part of the nature that surrounds me. Highways: Traveling. I love to travel, to see, to experience. My dream one day is to travel the world. From Europe to the Middle East, to Southeast Asia, to the Savanna of Africa, the rainforests of Brazil, I want to experience it all. The Little Things: I take pleasure in the little things out of each and every day. Without taking pride in the little things, what would any of us have?

So for now, I've got the mountains to my West, the city to my East, the snow on the ground, and the Nuggets game tonight. Papers to write, people to see, places to go. This was a long post, but if just one person reads it, then I deem it a success. It's like one of my bad jokes, if just one person laughs it was worth it. Until next time.