Infernal Sunshine On My Spotted Mind

I'm watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and it seems eerily relevant to my life right now. Maybe not so much in the story, but more in the themes. We've got memories, we've got these painful thoughts that cling to us and remind us of everything we hate to remember. Those moments that we regret beyond all else that we'd love nothing more than to erase with a raging night of alcohol or a drug induced haze that claw at us with the utmost intensity dragging us down to the depths that we tried so desperately to pull ourselves out of.

But we regret it.

The morning after we remember everything and we hate ourselves for having wanted to forget in the first place.

When we kill the sad memories, the happy ones go with them. If we're the sum of our experiences then we slight ourselves of part of who we've become or who we're becoming. You get caught up in all the what if's and the "I wish I hads" and you forget where you were going in the first place.

I can't say if I've learned anything. If history is to be believed I haven't. But even if I don't believe things are gonna get better I can stop dwelling on the skyscrapers of mistakes I've made because, in the end, I guess they're the reason I'm here at all.

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot? The world forgetting by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, each prayer accepted and each wish resigned."

Dedicated to Dani, Jessi, Spencer, Wren, Joe, Sean, and Jordan